THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS

A new study by Hallmark shows that in a digital age, people are craving authentic connections and with texts and social media being a common everyday occurrence, a greeting card stands out as a more meaningful way to communicate among other things. In fact, most consumers agree that they would prefer a card over a text message regardless of their age. We wanted to find out more about the power of these actions and how we can manage these personal connections in an age of instant gratification. We chatted with psychiatrist, Dr. Vania Manipod to find out more about this and how we can achieve this balance.

ATHLEISURE MAG: What are the benefits of using the digital tools that we have to stay connected especially when our lives cause us to be on constant on the go mode?

DR. VANIA MANIPOD: Social networks can be useful to some extent as we use it to keep up with people’s lives, because they are posting what they are up to. People also rely on it to keep them up to date on news; however, I want to emphasize that these types of experiences are a lot more passive and fleeting. The latest survey results found that as humans, we tend to desire more of those deeper meaningful more impactful connections with others. So when it comes to fostering these types of relationships, it’s truly quality over quantity in a way that social media can’t match.

AM: Why do these digital tools become a barrier to communication?

DR. VM: Social media is designed that we spend as much time as possible on it. Even the way that we communicate is via text message or using instant messenger. That’s meant to make it easier for us with one click of the button; however, it’s truly the more deeper meaningful gestures that are simple like just making a phone call – which goes above and beyond in taking time out of our busy daily lives to foster these connections. For example, making that phone call to someone that you haven’t talked to in awhile instead of sending a text message, inviting them to lunch or sending them a handwritten card, these are gestures that have a lot more meaning and foster these connections. Ultimately, it increases happiness.

AM: With social media as well as a 24-hour news cycle, that is difficult to turn off, how does this actually hamper positive communications that we want to have with others?

DR. VM: What’s happening is that it gives us this illusion and it makes us want to have more of an instant gratification. So when we get that like, we like when that action happens or that someone gave us a comment. That sends a positive reinforcement in our brains that are kind of like gambling. When you see the sounds and hear the lights, it makes you feel very excited and gratified, but those things are very short lived. Ultimately, those don’t foster the deeper and emotional connections that we want with people. So that’s why I suggest, social media in moderation only – social media detox is also great because it gives us a different perspective and makes us realize that spending so much time on social media could be making someone feel lonely, isolated and depressed. So social media in moderation, social media detox - setting boundaries around it, is so important.

AM: When we can’t connect in person with the people that we care about, do you have any tips on how we can keep it personal – when it is still digital?

DR. VM: Well, the survey results found that when given the option (with consumers at all ages), receiving a text message or a greeting card that had the exact same message, they found it to be much more meaningful and impactful. Millennials interestingly enough, who we know are so used to communicating digitally – they found that receiving a card was much more meaningful and made them feel more noticed. It’s as simple as that in addition to reaching out and making gestures that show that you took the time to show them that you cared.

AM: With the summer coming to an end, the fall makes us think about gatherings where we come together and of course, the holiday season. What are ways that we can ensure that we keep connected in a healthy way. You just mentioned specifically when we’re not in person that we can send a hand written note or card – how do we keep the communications healthy with people that we care about whether it’s a text or a card?

DR. VM: That would be trying to reach out to them, sending them a greeting card and not just on a holiday or a birthday when it is expected. Doing it just because is nice as the survey also shows that even though we do send cards during expected times, the ones that are sent just because have been received as more meaningful. This is why, we encourage people to not just do this during the big occasions, but even spontaneously because it boosts your relationships with people and ultimately boosts happiness.

AM: In terms of the psychological connection, how do you connect with people that are of a different age like your niece versus your grandparents.

DR. VM: Again, it’s about going above and beyond. I think that my niece would definitely be into her emojis and all that, but it’s about spending more time with them. Whether it’s your grandparents or little niece. It’s about spending time and that shows that you are investing in the relationships, connecting with them on a deeper level and you’re taking the time to build upon these relationships that already exist.

AM: For ourselves, when we’re taking a break from digital media do you have tips or suggestions that we can do for escapism from these moment by moment interactions?

DR. VM: There are 3 tips that I would suggest to keep in mind. 1. Set boundaries with social media. Make sure that no one has their phones when they go out to dinner and that people are having conversations. 2. Having a social media detox because it’s not until we’re away from it that we realize how much time we spend on social media that can help change our perspective and ultimately lead to the 3rd tip which is to invest more time into fostering and nurturing our personal connections that already exist. This leads to increased happiness and decreased happiness.  

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HELP WANTED: HOW TO AVOID ROOKIE MISTAKES ON A JOB INTERVIEW

Whether you are in college seeking an internship, or further on in your career and looking to advance your position, making basic and careless mistakes on a job interview can cost you that opportunity even if you have the experience, credentials, and intelligence.

First impressions count!

If you are in doubt, studies have shown that within the first seven seconds of meeting, people will have a solid impression of who you are — and some research suggests a tenth of a second is all it takes to start determining traits like trustworthiness.  Katherine M. Rothman is the CEO of KMR Communications, a public relations firm she founded at the age of 28. The firm specializes in beauty, health and fitness PR.  Since the agency’s inception in 1998, Ms. Rothman has interviewed hundreds of applicants for positions ranging from interns to directors and vice presidents.

Here are 14 tips on interviewing straight from the CEO herself:

Don’t Be Late

Ms. Rothman really dislikes the excuse, of, “I’m sorry I am 15 minutes late, I didn’t know where to park.”  When you confirm the interview time and place, it is the applicant’s responsibility to ask questions about where to park. If it sounds like it might be mildly confusing, do a dry run to the interview location so that you don’t drive around aimlessly minutes before the interview. When you show up late to an interview, you seem unreliable, unorganized, and you have to dig yourself out of a black hole by making a really amazing impression.

Be on Your Best Behavior the Moment You Enter the Building

From the minute your feet enter the building of the interview, assume that anyone you encounter could be a potential interviewer. If you are talking on a cell phone in the lobby, censor your conversation and comments. In the elevator, make polite eye contact with everyone. Treat the receptionist like royalty!   If you use the restroom prior to the interview, give a nice hello to anyone you encounter. The person who was just your stall mate could be the head of HR!

Research the company

Google the company. Visit their website. Know who their clients, are, what they do, who they serve, who their competition is, and find out what sets them apart from their other businesses in their field. It is important to do your research prior to the interview. It will give you greater command of the topics you will be asked about and make you feel more confident which will transmit into a better impression. If you are asked why you want to work at company XYZ, you will be able to answer intelligently and specifically instead of in a cookie cutter manner.

Dress to Impress

Do your best to do some sleuthing and find out what the culture of the company is.  Perhaps read some reviews on Glassdoor, Google, or ask friends.

How you dress has a lot to say about your presence in business.

If the company is artsy, it’s better if you don’t come in looking like a corporate stiff. Conversely, if the atmosphere is corporate, ripped jeans and a tank top won’t get you far. When in doubt, it is better to be overdressed than underdressed. When you are asked back for a second-round interview you can better tailor your attire to the office norm.

Don’t Let Your Body Language Give You Away- Skilled interviewers are adept are reading non-verbal clues, i.e. body language. Most likely, the handshake will be your only moment of physical contact with the interviewer. Studies say that handshakes play a significant role in first impressions, so make it count. Your shake should be neither bone crushing, nor limp fish. Aim for a firm handshake, and as you shake, make eye contact and smile. Once seated, do not slump, fidget or lean back in your chair which can signal boredom or arrogance. Lean slightly forward to indicate interest. Don’t cross your arms as this can make you look defensive or like you are hiding something.

Don’t Give Cliché Answers to Questions

If you are asked what your best qualities are, avoid saying, “I am an organized, self-starter and team player and my biggest weakness is that I am a perfectionist.” These may all be true but find another way to state these attributes. Instead, if asked about a weakness, choose a real weakness and put a positive spin on it. You may say, for example, “I always want to meet my deadlines, but sometimes in doing so, I rush too much.  I am trying to slow down and be more meticulous.”

Don’t talk incessantly and ramble on

You are being judged on how articulate you are and how you present yourself in a corporate situation. An interview should not be your own monologue. Answer the questions concisely and wait for the interviewer to ask the next. As you are speaking, try to gauge if you are keeping the interviewer engaged in what you are saying.  If their eyes are glazed over and they are tapping their pen, you have spoken enough.

Ask not what the company can do for you, ask what you can do for the company

To loosely paraphrase JFK on his inauguration speech, make it clear how your skills can help the company you are interviewing with. A first interview should not be about, how many vacation days do I get? Do you have a 401K? Do you have summer hours?

What are your benefits? These questions should be saved for second round interviews when the company has indicated that they have a sincere interest in you. Round 1 should be strictly about what you bring to the table.

Wipe Your Social Media Clean of Anything That is Embarrassing or Simply Don’t Post That Content in the First Place

A company need not be the FBI to find pictures/comments that pertain to you on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.  Be mindful of what you are posting. Anything that looks undignified, shows illegal activity, prejudice, anger management issues or castes you in a poor light can be a mark against you even if you had a stellar interview. Watch your social media, one post is not worth the sacrifice of your dream job!

Remove Tongue Piercings, Nose Piercings and Cover Large Tattoos

These things may be en trend with your age group, however, if you are interviewing with a conservative company, these might negate you right away. The same would go for pink hair or other extreme styles for men and women.  I am not saying having your own sense of style and living outside the box are bad things, it can be quite fabulous. But in reviewing the environment of the company you want to work for, consider if the way you are presenting yourself showcases you as the best candidate to represent the culture of that company. When you are entrusted with the interests of a company you become an ambassador. You need to adapt to that company.

Do not walk in smelling like you sampled every fragrance in a department store

If you must wear fragrance, keep it light and subtle. Fragrance is a very personal thing. The last thing you want is an interviewer sneezing with watery eyes because you have gone overboard on the perfume or cologne.

Bring Ample Resumes

If you are meeting with one or even several people, there is nothing that makes you look more unprepared than assuming the interviewer has your resume handy. Make sure that you carry ample resumes in a professional looking portfolio/binder so that the paper is not wrinkled when you hand it over.

Don’t forget to write a thank you

Write a thank you follow-up e-mail to every person with whom you met. Do this even if you do not want the position.  It’s a small world and being polite goes a long way! If you want the position, and it comes down to you and another candidate with identical credentials and you are the one who writes the note, most likely you will be “the chosen one.”

Don’t be silent when the interviewer asks at the end if you have remaining questions

Too often, applicants say, “no, thanks I think you covered everything.” You may feel you are being polite by saying this, but you actually come across as disengaged and docile. Come up with at least one thought-provoking question that refers to something the interviewer commented on or asked. 

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