When one holiday ends, we move onto the next one and during this time of year, Valentine's Day creates a mixture of emotions from romance, inspiration, anxiety and apprehension. There are those looking for love and others who are in it, but are assessing where they are in their journey.
When we realized that we had the opportunity to talk with Susan Trombetti, Matchmaker and CEO of Exclusivematchmaking.net - we wanted to ask all the questions that we had about her
job in finding love for others, assessing our relationships, as well as tips regarding Valentine's Day. Of course, you'll want to use this information beyond the day of love!
ATHLEISURE MAG: Tell us about your background and how you became a matchmaker?
SUSAN TROMBETTI: I owned a skip tracing and asset investigation company. During my time doing investigations, I worked with banks mostly liquidating fraudulent portfolios. One of my specialties is my background in pursuing people that commit identity fraud. Since I have the same skill set as a private investigator, individuals would ask for little favors even though I didn’t do domesticate types of assignments. A little old lady came to me and asked me to find her long lost love from the war when they were together as lovers in Paris over 50 years before. I found him that night and reconnected them. The man had never married after all those years. He said "there has never been anyone else”. When the economy slowed down, good people couldn’t get loans, much less fraudulent people. I had time to think what I wanted to do and not just go through the motions of the investigation business. I decided to become a matchmaker and bring my skills set to the table to do backgrounds on the matches. It comes in handy when you can figure out if someone is lying about their age or marital status. I deal with very wealthy people and they can hire me just to vet the person before they let them in their social circle. I am a matchmaker and relationship investigator.
AM: What is a matchmaker and what role do you have in connecting people to come together to find their match and eventually love?
ST: Matchmakers are headhunters for love. I recruit at a very high level to find someone they match with for their particular needs. I help them get clear on the difference between what they need and want, how to break bad dating habits and patterns that are holding them back, and teach them how to connect. The back story to what I do is important to ensuring that the match flourishes into a lasting relationship.
AM: Are there any celebs that you can share that you have worked with?
ST: I have worked with several, but they are confidential. One I hit on the first introduction and they had a baby by the time they were together a year. They just ran off into the sunset. It was
amazing.
AM: What is the process like in taking on someone who is looking for love - what kinds of questions do you ask to see if they are a match to work with you as well as whether they are truly open for the process?
ST: I ask them what they are looking for to see if it’s superficial. There are only a few criteria I will work with and the rest is just being too picky. I ask about the former relationships to see
if I can identify patterns or problems that are holding them back from finding love. I look to make sure they are commitment minded and truthful.
AM: For those not using a matchmaker, what can they keep in mind when they are prepared to get back out there?
ST: Realize you aren’t perfect. Things have changed. Don’t settle for the first person you meet and go exclusive before 90 days. Just wait. You could save yourself so much heart ache and wear and tear on your emotions.
AM: Finding love is really about being comfortable in being vulnerable with someone due to established trust - what advice or checklist do you have that we can keep in mind (even for those that are in a relationship and need to make sure it's in a good place)?
ST: That’s really a good point. Remove the walls and try to be a little more open, have a little more fun, and invest more time than a cup of coffee when meeting someone. Realize that what
you generally think of as chemistry is just lust. Give chemistry time to develop.
AM: Sometimes the adage of, "if it's too good to be true, it probably is" does take place. How can we be on the lookout for someone who seems good on paper, but has red flags that pop up that we need to be aware of?
ST: By trusting your gut when you meet the wrong person and not continuing if you feel there are red flags. Also, realize what is truly necessary in a relationship and base what you are looking for on that and not where they went to school or their job.
AM: As a matchmaker, it appears that your role is on the front end of obtaining a relationship; however, with your clients - how involved do you stay in the process as it progresses?
ST: Completely involved. They need to think of me like their best friend or we will get nowhere fast. If we don't match, I probably can't match you because I need to understand you in order
to spot your match.
