By Tatiana Dellepiane
Imagine having a special feeling of oneness during lovemaking. Imagine feeling fully connected with your partner on the physical, emotional and spiritual plane. Nothing matters but the two of you being in waves of ecstasy and bliss. You are filled with satisfaction and a feeling of connectedness. All worries and doubts disappear, and you are completely relaxed. Your body tingles with delight and your heart is beating joyfully. You disappear into the eyes of your partner and everything you do, everything you feel, and everything you see suddenly has a
Sounds great right? Wouldn’t we want to experience something so blissful (and free of charge) all of the time? Well unfortunately, in the modern world, we have a myriad of responsibilities, concerns, and challenges to deal with that keep us from feeling safe enough to relax into love. Most people are tired, overworked and overwhelmed and have trouble slowing down. Our bodies respond to these things with stress, and we frequently become ill and don’t make time for love. Tantra can help you counter the effects of modern living so that you can have long-lasting wellness, joy and a balanced life.
How about bringing the ancient wisdom of Tantra into the bedroom, and into your life as a whole? Tantra is an ancient art and science of the body and soul that has been around for thousands of years. Tantra believes in the awakening of all of your senses and the activation of your energy so that you can manifest your desires and become a magnet of love. It’s a practice that connects you to your self. Most of us spend much of our daily life in our heads. We rarely feel grounded in the body unless we are in the middle of a workout or just finishing one. We rarely feel grounded in the body unless we are in the middle of a workout or just finishing one.
Tantra helps us to plant our energetic roots in the earth all day long, and it brings us to the truth of who we are. Tantric practice encourages us to bring the energy from our spines up to the crown of our heads for maximum intuition and spiritual awareness, and at the same time circulate that energy back down to the earth so we remain grounded and embodied. The union between the feminine and masculine energy in our bodies is what allows us to do this energetic alchemy in a balanced way.
Tantra can help us fully feel whatever is arising within us. It can allow us to have more flow and surrender in our lives and help us expand our consciousness. It can help us use pleasure as a tool to heal parts of ourselves that we feel are wounded. It encourages us to slow down, become present, and take everything moment to moment.
Tantric techniques are not just another thing we “should,” do more of. They are not just another modality to add to our spiritual/emotional to do list. Tantra is more than just the techniques and methods themselves. The essence of Tantra is allowing ourselves to be 100% present until our minds slow down and we become one with what is. It is about taking a break from time bound reality and visiting the Garden of Eden once again. Some think that Tantra is only about sex, and that is why there has been such a focus on Tantra’s sexual practices. Sex is of course a divine vehicle of awakening and the more allowing we can be towards our sexual energy, the more allowing we will be with our life energy in general. But Tantra isn’t only sexual. We can actually bring these ecstatic experiences into all aspects of our life; it doesn’t even matter
if we have a committed partner or not.
What if you could become committed to infusing a sense of the sacred into every action? Even the most mundane task can become amazing when it is done with awareness.
This is the essence of Tantra. Whereas other spiritual traditions often encourage us to escape from the world in favor of a realm that is better or
higher…Tantra encourages us to get involved in the world and fall in love with it.
One thing that people are rarely clear on is that Tantra and Tantric sex are two different things.
There is Tanatra, and there is sex. Sex tends to bring awareness to what is arising in your relationship to your self, your partner(s) and your life. Sex
often reveals to you the truth of who you are beyond your personality. It shows you layers upon layers of your multidimensional being. It shows you where you are stuck in your life. It shows you who you are in relationship to others and to the world.
In sex you are naked, exposed and vulnerable. You are forced to see your own soul magnified.
Now imagine combining everything mentioned about Tantra and everything mentioned about sex. What you have is something potentially sacred, blissful, healing, revealing, ecstatic and vulnerable. This is what Tantric sex is really all about.
Here are a few practical tantric techniques you can use to bring sensuality and connection to your body: Some are rituals to be performed alone, and some are Tantric sex rituals to be performed with a partner.
BREATH OF FIRE
This breath helps increase energy and arousal. You can do it with your partner before engaging in sex or you can do it alone. It is especially potent in the morning when you need a boost of energy. Sit comfortably with your legs crossed or in lotus or half lotus pose. Make sure your spine is
straight and that you encourage yourself to release tension from your shoulders and face.
Inhale and exhale through your nose rapidly focusing more on the exhale. Pump your belly in and out. It should feel active not passive…like you’re doing sit ups. Close your eyes and focus on your brow center. After you do 1-3 minutes, sit still and check in your body.
When we caress each other with feather-light touch, we actually feel more sensation and pleasure. The more often we do it, the more you feel. Touching in this way raises the anticipation of sex, which increases dopamine levels in the body. Touch each other with feather-light touch using your fingertips to tease the body.
Eyes are the windows to the soul. Eye gazing takes us to another level of intimacy. Sit comfortably with your legs crossed or in lotus or half lotus pose facing each other. Breathe in sync together (use the breathe of ecstasy) and
look into each other’s left eye. Soften your gaze. Eye gazing creates instant connection. Looking into each other’s eyes can create increased intimacy
and can also be playful and sexy if done without too much pressure and seriousness.
This movement will help awaken your sensual energy in your body. Sit comfortably with your legs crossed or in lotus or half lotus or standing
pose. Using your breath, inhale and isolate your hips slowly by popping your booty back, chest forward (start with the right side). Exhale back and squeeze your pelvic floor. Repeat the same movement on the other side slowing from
left to right.
Tatiana Dellepiane is a sex and relationship coach born and raised in New York City. She is the creator of Sensual Awakening Movement. She is also a certified yoga teacher and Lead Trainer of Urban Kama Sutra School.