Earlier this month, we had a fun virtual event for VOT3D IO: A Conversation with Michelle Young! We talked with on of our favorite The Bachelorette leads to talk about her time on the show, self-care and what she's up to as she continues to use her platform to bring awareness and education to topics that she cares about.After our conversation with Michelle Young, guests were given some time to discuss and connect over the party chat box and also answer questions in the live treasure hunt for prizes
We also wanted to share this interview here in this issue as we know how many people are fans of the franchise and want to get to know her more beyond the show!
ATHLEISURE MAG: I’ve seen every season of The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. One of the favorite things that I enjoy, is seeing those that will be competing in The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. Getting to see what they look like, who they are, their backstory, etc. When I saw you on The Bachelor, I called it immediately! Michelle is beautiful, she’s from the Midwest, just like me and even if she doesn’t get married to The Bachelor, she can definitely helm her own season as The Bachelorette and I hope that they give her the chance to do that.
What drew you to wanting to be on the show?
MICHELLE YOUNG: I feel like that it is a huge question! Ok, well in order to see me come on The Bachelor, you would have to wait until week 3 or week 4!
AM: Right?
MY: That was not part of the plan, I will say that! Honestly, I was never like, “ I really want to be on this show.” It’s something that I watched with my mom for a little bit and I always felt like I could do that, but I never thought that the opportunity would come across my plate. I typically was always interested in how do people get on the show. Do they get nominated?
I knew that there was an application process. I didn’t apply, I was nominated and to this day, I have no idea who nominated me. Nobody has owned up to it. I know my friends really really well and I remember when I was chosen as The Bachelorette, I asked if they could please look into this. I wanted a name and I wanted to know who was lying to me and they were literally like, “no, your Instagram profile got sent in anonymously and no one has ever come forward with it.” It seems kind of weird because if you know me, I got on Instagram literally like 2 years ago and there weren’t really any pictures when they nominated me – I had 2 pictures and I didn’t like any photos – it looked like it was a fake account!
I don’t know. I was nominated and I thought it was kind of a scam! I got emails and eventually, I messaged back and they were kind of at the end of that whole process. They put me on a Zoom really quickly and on phone calls. It was a pretty long process and they expedited me through it and then I remember sitting there with the contract in front of my family saying, “ok, so –
AM: This is happening!
MY: Yeah, we went through the pros and cons and it just kind of happened and it was like this thing that just kept knocking on my door. It was honestly the most perfect opportunity where I was able to teach long distance for a little bit before I was actually on the show, so I didn’t have to miss as much teaching as I would have had to before. It was a mistake that I ended up being on the show, but here we are!
AM: I’m leaning towards, that it is definitely someone you know and they they don’t want to say, “yup I’m the one that started all of this!”
MY: I know right? Oh my gosh!
AM: It could be a family member, a puppy – somebody in your world was in the mix!
MY: I don’t know! I have no idea, but here I am!
AM: In learning about your background, we got to know that you were a Division I basketball player, you’re also a teacher and someone that is really straight forward and is never afraid to speak your truth and to be very honest. How did you prepare yourself to engage and interact in this very unique environment?
MY: Honestly, Division I Athletics is kind of dog-eat-dog on its own. I was always in competitive basketball, participating and in competition of some sorts. When you’re in the room, constructive criticism, unconstructive criticism – people can be mean. Women can be mean at times too, especially in basketball when you’re playing and you take a Senior’s playing time and that doesn’t go over particularly well. A lot of not so nice things were said at times. You kind of just build tough skin and you really do rely on who you are and who you are as a person and using your family as support. So, I kind of feel like and I don’t know if this is a strength or weakness, but going through the Division I Basketball experience that I went through, I went through a lot. I kind of feel like that I can handle anything that is coming my way. I know that I will be able to get through it and to have the tools that I will be able to need to get through it.
So, that was the same thing with this and I didn’t really know the Reality TV world or the social media world as much as I do now. So that wasn’t at the forefront part of my mind. I can tell you that it was brought to the forefront of my mind when I got into that bubble that I did when I came in late and with everything that was thrown at me. It definitely has come in handy and now on social media, there are a lot of haters out there!
AM: I love how you said that sports prepared you. Being from Indiana myself, going to IU, we believe that life is sport and sport is life. The way you are in sports says a lot about how you are in life and how you will navigate it. So when I came here to NY, I knew that if I could handle what I did then, I’d be able to do this as well. So that totally rings true to me.
When you went from The Bachelor to The Bachelorette, what was your process in terms of deciding how you were going to helm your own season and to make it your own?
MY: I think that my biggest focus was that it was a show. It’s a show where the leads have not typically looked like me in the past. I had a lot of conversations very up front with Executive Producers – even during The Bachelorette interview process with things that were non-negotiables for me. Things that I didn’t want it to be as it’s not a one size fits all situation. I had other things that I wanted to be able to speak about. I had Black stories specifically that I wanted told and it was really important to me that there were certain things that were not cut out where my season wend through the editing process. Those were things that I was definitely thinking about. For me, personally on my end, really asking hard questions about race, about experiences up front and not having producers trying to control my conversations and just being up front as you said, I’m a very blunt person. I’m going to ask these things because I need to know these things up front because I’m not going to spend energy on certain people that do not align with certain things as a Black female.
I set those boundaries very clearly and said, “if I’m going to sign on this dotted line, you’re going to know these things about me,” and there was respect at that time going both ways. So that’s how I was able to move forward. I definitely came guns a blazing and I came ready to throw those questions out there regardless.
AM: As someone who is just a fan of the show but was also rooting you on. There were times personally, when I would just tear up because I was so excited that you were able to have certain conversations and that you didn’t try to hem and haw. You let it be known what it was, what the reality is and if that person didn’t see it that way, there was the door.
MY: Yeah absolutely! It is a Reality TV show and I get that and it comes with a lot of different things. But at the same time, if you want us to have real relationships and real feelings, then there is also that part where we have to have real conversations. Those were my real conversations for sure.
AM: We have all dated at some point, but few of us have done it on TV in front of millions of households. What are tips that you learned that benefited your mental health and kept you grounded in this process?
MY: I will honestly say that when you’re dating in the public eye, it’s really weird because when you go through your experience of dating, it’s not first in the public eye. It’s being filmed and it feels very public, but you’re not actually dealing with the reactions of the public quite yet until after that certain experience is over.
So for me, there was always that sense of fear of what kind of edit am I going to get? I will say that anyone going into that kind of position, if you do not waver from who you are, you will be fine. Because, you’re going to navigate just like who you would navigate around in life. You might make mistakes, but those would be mistakes that you would make in the real world as well. But for me, it was like, if everyone is doing one thing and I don’t learn from that or it doesn’t go with who I am as a person, I’m not going to do it. There’s power of suggestion and it may seem like you’re forced to do this, but no. There is nothing that says that you have to do this, that you have to say that or that you have to gravitate towards that. It’s put out there and you can either take it or leave it.
A lot of that was me leaving a lot of those things in the first season of The Bachelor and saying, that’s not who I am. It’s not who I am, I can’t speak to that or I won’t/can’t say that or I won’t bandwagon hop! I think that a lot of people get caught up in that and that really hurts afterwards as it’s a huge learning experience because 1, you come off as a really mean or nasty person which is not who you are and you have these regrets. But if you’re consciously thinking through that, then it’s you and you can handle that.
AM: There are a number of people who are single and dating. So when you were navigating that on your dates whether they were 1-on-1 or group dates, what were qualities that you were looking for that were red flags that you wanted to avoid?
MY: I think it was really that you were in a situation that’s not normal. I think a lot of people when they get into a weird situation, it’s awkward and that can be a huge turnoff. Honestly and typically, in the normal world, that would probably have been a red flag for me. But in this situation, it’s more like – at the end of the day, you need to be able to relax in order to be able to get to know somebody. But if you’re too smooth in front of the camera, if you’re too comfortable with 50 people watching you kiss – then I’m thinking, why are you here? So, that was my red flags. The people who would be too smooth with things. I always messed up. I tripped, I fell half the time, I stumbled over my words, I could laugh at myself – it was uncomfortable to be in the situation at times because again, there were cameras and random people staring at you with everything that you do and sometimes, I’m standing there by myself. Somebody who would come into that and be awkward with me in that and just grow into it, but be real – that’s what I was looking for.
AM: For fans of the show, we all have our favorites from Hometowns. I always like it when Franco Lacosta is there for an episode. He’s a very good friend who I adore who has shot me before so shout out to him. What were your favorite moments in your season of The Bachelorette?
MY: Oh gosh! Honestly night 1! Night 1 is just something that I will always remember because it never kicks in that you are The Bachelor/Bachelorette or the lead until you’re standing there and then you’re like, “oh shit, there are the limos” and they’re starting to pull up and you’re there. You’re there in the way that you don’t have your phone, you don’t have your family to talk to, you don’t have your friends – it’s just you. You’re sitting in your own emotions and I had this moment when it just dawned on me that I was The Bachelorette – what am I doing? It really was a magical night and it was all about excitement. You know that there is going to be drama, but none of it emotionally affected me and it was just something that I embraced every second even though it was a really long night!
AM: How long is that night?
MY: I started at 3pm where I was actually in my dress – so hair, makeup everything was done. So that means I was in the makeup chair at 12pm. I got to bed finally at 11:45am the next morning. So that’s what the producers would tell the guys the next night. Because they would say that they were so tired and we took our group picture at 9:30am for you guys, but Michelle had to recap all of you. It’s a long night!
AM: I had no idea. I thought it was like 6 hours!
MY: No, you can’t start filming until it gets dark and then there are a lot of guys that you have to go through. Everyone is learning the ropes of everything so it’s a long one!
AM: Wow! That’s a new nugget for me!
Well, you filmed over the course of a number of weeks and participated in a lot of activities and had a lot of conversations. How did you incorporate self-care so that you could achieve some sort of a balance and feel like yourself?
MY: Ohh. Honestly, I would say that that was one of the hardest things for the leads. I went off of 3 hours of sleep for the first few weeks. For me, I do fairly well with no sleep and I just went back to that athletic mindset that I just had to push through and I had to keep grinding, keep a smile on your face or whatever you’re feeling. But it’s tricky. You don’t get time alone, you don’t get time to yourself unless you’re looking at the inside of your eyelids completely sleeping.
AM: Oh wow. That leads me to the next question that when you weren’t filming, how did you pass the time? But you’re saying that you didn’t have time alone!
MY: When I was the lead, you’re with someone 24/7. When I was a contestant on The Bachelor, when you get further out and there is less women there, you don’t have the cocktail parties, you go straight to the ceremonies and so you do have a little more downtime. I will say that as a contestant, I did find down time fairly frequently, because I learned that instead of just asking if I could go take a nap, I would just take a nap and because I was one of the people that wasn’t participating in drama, it would take them a minute to realize that I was gone. They would look for me and it gave me an extra 20 mins. I would sleep in other places like under a table, behind the couch.
AM: It’s like a hide-and-go-seek!
MY: Yeah! A little TLC.
AM: From a Bachelor Nation perspective, there are a number of commitments that you had from The Tell All and After The Final Rose. What has been your favorite part of this whole experience?
MY: It was very much being able to bring my family and friends along for the ride. You get to do a lot of really cool things. There are a lot of perks to it and most perks don’t come free. They definitely come with stresses on your mental health by being in the public, but being able to travel to different places and being able to go and do things like Jingle Ball – I got to bring my parents to Jingle Ball. I got to take my friends on a really cool excursion and trip and there are a lot of fun experiences that you typically wouldn’t get. I’ve been in this role and it’s cool to see them and their faces light up and to have them be apart of it.
AM: Who are your go-to’s in terms of chatting with people in The Bachelor universe? I know that there is the Bachelor Chat that you guys have, but do you have your core people there?
MY: I have my girls that I’m very close with. I’m close with Ryan Claytor from Matt’s season, Bri Springs, Serena Pitt, Becca Kuffrin – I think that you just find people that you really align with and even though you haven’t known them for as long as some of your other friends, you just get so close so quickly when you’re in a similar situation and you’ve all dated the same person or just different things that the public with pressures that they put on you. I definitely have so many group chats going on and I keep in touch with all of those people.
AM: What are some dating tips that you would suggest to those that may just be getting out there?
MY: It’s so hard! Getting back out there! I used to be a very closed off person. I would give a lot, I loved very hard, but when it came to talking about emotions and feelings, whether it was friends, family, relationships – I was very comfortable with someone else sharing, I created a safe space for them with me, but it was hard for me to share that back. This show truly taught me how relationships and even friendships can flourish when you're ttruly vulnerable and when yourself. It’s about being honest from the get go and it really does help things blossom and it’s scary because you’re scared about rejection and you’re scared about somebody not liking what you’re putting forward, but if that’s the case, yeah – it might sting initially. But essentially, you don’t want someone that doesn’t love you to your complete naked form. So that’s what I would say, be vulnerable and truthful right up front. If they don’t like it, they’re not your person.
AM: Absolutely! You can exit!
MY: The door is right here!
AM: One of the things that I enjoyed during the season as you navigated the journey, was that you focused on talking about your identity, the pressures around it and the importance of acceptance. Why was that so important to you to drive that awareness to people?
MY: For me, it was just a huge part of who I was. I grew up in Minnesota and I grew up in an environment for a very long time where I was the only person of color. That created a lot of different awareness’s for me. It was something that I also battled with in my relationships going forward. There were certain debates that were happening in a relationship where I didn’t want to have to explain those things and I shouldn’t have to explain those things. In order to make sure that that didn’t happen again, I had to have those conversations. I didn’t realize how much it was going to connect with people to see that side. I’m very happy that I was able to show that.
AM: I remember when I was watching it and I kept saying thank you. Whether it’s based on race or just to be accepted as a person, to be that vulnerable was so touching. It was like, inspirational Michelle and every episode had that in it.
MY: Aww thank you!
AM: With the conclusion of the season and after breaking up with Nayte earlier this year, how did you take care of yourself and heal from that relationship so that you could move on?
MY: For me, dating in the public eye – getting in the public eye is one thing and breaking up in the public eye are really difficult. With that relationship, I think that what pushed me and challenged me to move on as I did was that I was continuously being hurt by the actions of this other person and so that really forced me to make sure I did my healing very much so up front and that I healed fully, that I was creating a healthy thought process in my mind and I was responding to different things in a healthy manner because that was the moment that I realized that your emotions could get very out of control and it could be at the expense of what somebody else is doing or what the public is doing. I knew that I would have to see this person dating somebody else – physically see it which you might not have to do when you’re dating somebody normally. People are going to speculate, it’s going to be constant talk, you’re going to be constantly attached to that person. So I just really took that in and realized that I needed to give myself closure. I needed to make sure that I was confident in myself and that I’m fully healed in myself and self-talk was a huge piece of that – of reassuring and really sorting through my thoughts as they were coming through that breakup so that I had control of my emotions, I had control of my pain and that I wasn’t just receiving pain from outside sources.
AM: As a whole, what did you learn about yourself?
MY: I learned that I can truly give myself closure without getting it from somebody else. I didn’t realize how powerful that would be. But I think that in relationships, when you go through a break up, especially if it’s not how you thought that things would go or maybe you’re on the receiving end of it, you want to look at the other person – we talk about that closure part of the conversation – you want it from the other person and there are times when that just isn’t going to happen or it’s just not possible. So what are you supposed to do? Leave it unclosed for the rest of your life? For me, the biggest thing that I learned or showed myself was that no matter what situation happened, I could give myself closure. I don’t have to have all the answers and I can give myself the answers enough to be able to move forward. That right there was something that if that was the only answer I could take away from 2022, I’m 100% content with that.
AM: I know that you’re in LA right now. Why did you decide to take a break away from teaching?
MY: With teaching, the last 2 years teaching through a pandemic – the things that teachers had to go through and even nurses! There were so many things that were impacted by COVID and with teaching, yes being The Bachelorette and teaching at the same time as my season was airing, that was stressful and maybe expedited things a little bit more than just in teaching. I was getting to the point that I was so burnt out. I knew that that summer I was not going to be able to recharge fully to where I needed to get to. To be honest, the school year before hand, I felt and a lot of teachers alongside me, felt that they were going into that 2021/2022 school year not fully charged after COVID because we just weren’t taken care of by the school system or the education system. I just needed a break and I needed to take a breather and I honestly know that it was the best decision that I could have made. It was not an easy decision because I left college so passionate about teaching and that whole entire profession is built on passion. When that cracks, if we don’t take care of that, then we’re going to continue to have bigger and bigger issues. So for me, it was me looking at myself in the mirror and saying, “I need to acknowledge that I need a break, right now.” It is something that I want to be able to come back to or it is something that I want to be able to do a passion around, but I couldn’t return that next school year because I needed that breather. There were a lot of teachers right next to me that had to do the same thing. It’s sad because it’s like another breakup. You don’t want to break up with one of your passions! It’s been tricky!
AM: I think that checking in with yourself and finding that balance whatever that means to each person and being able to recognize when you’re feeling overwhelmed or burnt out is so important! Although it may not be for everyone, what were some of the things that you noticed that were signs that you needed to take the time?
MY: I would say that feeling of waking up and knowing that you’re not yourself. I’m an early riser, a get up at 5am, hit the gym, respond back to my friends and family fairly quickly, organizing different activities – I’m a very upbeat and bubbly person. I was just exhausted and I was able to still do those things and I was able to keep up those things, but I wasn’t happy doing them necessarily all of the time. I was just definitely run down. I could feel it and I was getting sick all of the time. For me, my stress tends to show in my physical health before it does in my mental emotional side.
AM: Well you’re adamant about using your platform to educate others. Why is being an advocate for mental health so important to you?
MY: For me, it’s really about making sure that youth, especially, youth of color understand that it is ok to ask for health. It’s ok to talk about your emotions. I used to be this former athlete that was taught to have thick skin and to rub some dirt on it. Yes, there is completely a point that when you fall down, you should bounce back up, but if you are hurting, it’s ok to talk about it.
AM: That’s something that I talk a lot about whether it’s my sister or a friend, that it’s ok if we’re saying ouch. We can be strong and we can trailblaze and be unicorns, but we still bleed and we still get bumps!
What have you been doing post The Bachelorette since you’re in LA and living your best life as we see your awesome pictures on IG.
MY: I’m laughing at that because this is the biggest question that people ask me. If you look at all of the haters, they think that I schedule random photoshoots and take pictures of myself! I promise you that I am doing more things then just that!
AM: You’re a whole person!
MY: I know right? Believe it or not, if it’s not on social media, it didn’t happen apparently! Oh gosh! Right now, I’m finding that next piece of how I can fulfill my passion of giving back to others, working with children, helping the youth, motivational speaking – all of these different things and kind of figuring out that brand of who this next Michelle Young is. I do have a lot of very exciting things that are in the works that haven’t come out yet and so I can’t say too much, but you will definitely see my speaking, I will leave it at that for now.
AM: Because I’m envisioning that I would see you acting, films/videos, collaborations –
MY: Honestly, I’m going to do it all! I’ll say that!
AM: Ok!
MY: You’re going to see me walking the red carpet, see me motivationally speaking, you might see me in and out of some schools, You’re going to see me everywhere!
AM: One of the things that I liked is when you were in that transition from teaching to all of the things that you will be doing in the future, you shared that you would do some influencer work and that a percentage of what you would make would go towards to various charities or organizations that were selected by your followers. Why did you want to be accountable and share that with people? You didn’t have to and why did you want to do it in this way?
MY: For me, anytime someone says that word influencer, everybody cringes. You know what that words casts on some people and there is such a thing as positive influencing. Influencing is such a tricky game to play and coming out of the ABC The Bachelor/Bachelorette in general, a lot of people tend to go the influencer route. What that has meant in the past is that you’re working with brands, you’re going to these carpets and doing all of these different things. For me, there are products that I would 100% recommend whether I’m being paid or not, but I want to change the influencing game. You do have a platform, you do have a voice and you can encourage these products and these brands that are working with you to give back as well. You can bring your viewers in with it and you can create an entire message that goes with it. Like the Ice Bucket Challenge and all these things that were started! Social media has so many negative negative things about it and this can be a positive one! So that’s why. I want to be able to challenge not only people who follow me and supporters, but I also want to challenge the brands that work with me to also give back. Ultimately, we’re doing a really good thing.
AM: Now that you’re in LA for awhile, what are 3 places that you enjoy grabbing a bite or a cocktail, where are 3 places that you like to shop at and what are 3 places you like to workout at?
MY: Oh wow! So these may not be as great as you think because I have really been bouncing back and forth between LA and Minnesota quite a bit. Then I got done with this period of time where I got really sick, then I was healthy and then I was sick again. Whoever had that mysterious illness where it’s not COVID but it’s influenza – that knocked me on my butt! It’s not great and you’re turning the corner for what feels like forever.
One of my favorite places to eat honestly, is Catch. I went there with Kaitlyn Bristowe and it was a really awesome spot. Where else have I been? Elephante – I feel like everybody says that one and so I have to ay it! My third one I’m going to keep to myself because it’s a hole in the wall place and I feel like…
AM: If you say it, you’re never going to get a seat in there again because people will want to check it out!
MY: Exactly, or people will go looking, you know?
When it comes to shopping, anywhere at The Grove. I’m a Nike girl – I love getting some sneakers. I haven’t done that much shopping recently actually. But oh Target! I’m a Target girl. You ask me how I take care of my mental health, Target!
AM: Oh yeah, you go in and say you need lip balm and then 100 and some dollars later, you have all of these things!
MY: Exactly and then you leave without the lip balm! And you have to go back!
AM: You have to go back for sure!
MY: That’s why we forget it so that we have to go back!
I have not been to too many fitness studios yet. I’ve avoided Equinox – no shade on Equinox, I’m sure that I will check it out eventually. I literally went to LA Fitness the other day. I’m a runner. I go outside and run. I haven’t done too much here. I’ve done a lot of at home stuff. I have dumbbells and weights here. When I’m at home, Lifetime Fitness is my go-to.
AM: I love Lifetime Fitness. They have an awesome facility here in NY.
MY: I’m so jealous! The nearest one here is 30 mins away. I don’t know, shout them out and maybe they can build one across the street!
AM: We know you like staying active and that you like to run, are there 2 other things that you like to do in your fitness routine?
MY: I’m trying to get back into a pickup basketball game. That cardio, running up and down the basketball court, that humbles me real quick especially when you get back to it. Honestly that and swimming. I grew up with a pool and I love swimming laps as it’s just such great cardio. Anything where I can go out and about. I’ll play tennis with my parents, they’re amazing tennis players. Winter sports, I’ll ski a little bit.
AM: I love snowboarding!
MY: I’m jealous! Honestly, I want to learn how to snowboard. I never have up to this point. In athletics, coaches wouldn’t let us snowboard because so many people would get hurt.
AM: Oh yeah, you could break an ankle.
MY: Now I can flail down the diamond all day! I might just end up on TMZ or something ha! My hats over here my gloves are over there!
AM: What do you want your legacy to be in terms of the impact that you’ve left?
MY: I think it’s incredibly important for people to not stop learning about how others around them work or think. It’s about being open minded to learn and I think that’s a huge part of coming through the experience of what I just came through where you really are a rare breed which is sad to say. But as a woman of color and just being from Minnesota with everything happening with George Floyd, cultivating young minds to accept those around them to think outside the box to not always go about life the exact way that everyone has in the past – to challenge things. Ultimately, to be a kind person and to just give back. Once you make it to the top, you want to be able to extend your arm back and pull others up and show them the route to be able to give back to them. So when I’m no longer here, someone that I impacted is now making it their mission to impact someone that is below them. That’s what I call a legend or leaving a mark so that the cycle doesn’t stop with them.
AM: Are there projects that you are thinking about being part of that you can share whether it’s a specific one or a vertical that you want to tackle?
MY: I’ve worked a lot with kids and I will say that I will definitely be around students, around young minds very soon in the near future. I’ve done a lot with Be the Match and giving back to that. I wish I could name a few others, but I can’t quite yet, but it’s coming. Keep an eye out for sure on social media as it’s coming! You’ll definitely see some new and inspirational things coming.
AM: We’ll be keeping a look out for sure on what you have going on next and it’s been great to watch your journey, seeing what you have going on and being able to see what those next steps will be as well!
MY: Well I appreciate you having me and I embrace what you are doing as well. Being able to help me extend that platform with my voice and with my message and what I’m saying and all of that circles back to you for amplifying that as well!
AM: Aww thank you!
PHOTOGRAPHY CREDITS | PG 40 - 44 ABC Photography @abc | PG 47 - 48 Film Digitals @filmdigitals |
Read the DEC ISSUE #84 of Athleisure Mag and see BEYOND THE ROSE | Michelle Young in mag.
