RELATIONSHIP CONFLICTS: 5 COMMON MISTAKES WE MAKE AND HOW TO FIX THEM

Many couples face relationship conflicts with anxiety and fear, finding them unhealthy and therefore trying to avoid any confrontation. In reality, arguments take place in every family and can actually be healthy.  

Conflicts in relationships can be a normal and natural part of a marriage and any form of human connection. Individuals cannot ignore each other's values, boundaries, perspective, and needs. On the contrary, the complete absence of conflict in relationships is unnatural and may signal a mutual indifference of the parties, or the suppression of one partner by the other.

Let's take a closer look at what a conflict actually is, which mistakes lead to it, how to peacefully resolve any that may occur, and how therapy can help.

What is a conflict in a relationship, and why is it actually positive for a couple? 

A conflict in a relationship is a clash of different views, interests, perspectives, forms of behavior, and ways to achieve certain goals. A relationship conflict takes place when there is a mismatch around personal boundaries, needs, values, beliefs, behavior, established rules and fixed family roles.

It is an inevitable and even a positive phenomenon in any couple, and here is why.

Partners can become closer to each other. 

A conflict in a relationship reveals "weak points" of marriage. Arguments make it possible to open to each other common disagreements and discontent, thus getting to know each other better.

A conflict in a relationship can become a source of new communication patterns. 

A confrontation indicates that the partners have different values in particular situations due to different needs. The need to resolve the conflict determines the development of a relationship between family members. This also gives them a chance to get to deeper communication levels.

Avoidance of relationship conflicts has much more serious consequences.  

If irritation and passive aggression in a couple accumulates over a long time, an avoidance to communicate at all may result. This can combine with a dissatisfaction which will break out into the form of criticism of a partner, grumbling, shouting, and silence.

Avoiding problems only makes confrontation and communication in a couple worse.

Conflicts in Relationship: 5 Popular Mistakes

Dealing with arguments, confrontation and complications of everyday life requires patience, understanding, and a sincere desire for compromise. To this end, it is important to learn to identify what mistakes we make in order to find a solution and avoid unhappy relationships.

Facing it, always facing it,

that's the way to get through. Face it. 

Joseph Conrad

1. Losing individuality

In relationship conflicts, it is necessary to try to find a common ground. However, to achieve this goal, couples sometimes choose the wrong path. One way that leads to an unhappy marriage is sacrificing your individual identity to please the other’s needs.

This may happen because of the fear of losing a partner. In any case, this is unhealthy behavior as each partner actually betrays themselves.

2. Hiding weaknesses 

There is no way that a couple will be happy if their relationship is not based on sincerity. Genuine love is born when someone shows themselves to their partner as they are. As a result, hiding under another identity will bring long-term complications, conflict, and frustrations.

Moreover, this attitude hides a deep lack of self-esteem. Someone who tries to falsify themselves shows that they feel unworthy of being loved.

3. Getting caught up in the routine 

Another common mistake that produces conflicts in relationships is allowing routine to take hold where there were strong emotions and passion between partners. To avoid routine, it is important to look for ways to introduce novelty, to leave the comfort zone. It’s not that difficult.

4. A desire to change the partner

This is one of the attitudes that occurs in the more “advanced” stages of relationship conflicts. But actually this is the problem that has more to do with nonconformity with oneself than with real rejection of the other.

Someone who is satisfied with their life, who is emotionally responsible for what happens in it, does not seek to change others.

5. Hiding important secrets 

Each partner has private matters, regardless of the trust and intimacy that exists between the two. This is healthy. This shows that individuality has been preserved.

However, there are matters that concern both members of the relationship at the same time, hence the importance of not hiding them.

How to Fix Common Mistakes in Relationship Conflicts

During a conflict in a family, partners can behave in completely different ways. Someone breaks the dishes and slams the door. Someone shouts. Someone takes offense and plays silent. All this is because of the fact that throughout relationship conflicts, the most vulnerable sides are exposed.

An individual chooses the most familiar strategies of self-defense. Of course, not all of these methods are constructive.

A conflict in a relationship will become productive only if both partners see what to work on, what to change, and what to pay attention to in the future. Therefore, it is extremely important to learn how to clearly formulate needs and to correctly express dissatisfaction when it comes to confrontation.

These tips will help you navigate the relationship conflict wisely so that it ends with solutions on how to make a marriage stronger.

Make a pause

It is important to make a rule to pause when emotions go wild. Agreeing with the partner on "breaks" in order not to bring the arguing to a higher escalation of fighting.

For example, one can go to the bathroom to wash his or her face or go to the kitchen to drink water, while counting sips or holding their breath for a few seconds.

As a result, it will help activate the brain area responsible for self-control and logical behavior.

Is it better to always be right?  

One of the main principles of guidance through a relationship conflict is the understanding that if it takes place, both partners are involved in it. Not all situations can be easily determined with a “who is right and who is wrong” scenario.

In any case, couples should remember that winning a conflict is not about personal gain over the partner, but rather achieving a victory in marriage.

Looking at a situation through the eyes of the partner 

In any relationship confrontation, it is necessary to clarify the interests of the partner, to find out what is important to him or her, and how they see the solution to this situation. The ability to look at a situation through the eyes of the other side is very valuable. It is the skill that underlies empathy.

Expressing feelings in the right way 

The next step is to identify the feelings and emotions that accompany the relationship conflict, from both sides. It is important to express them in “I” statements, not accusations (“I am very angry when …” instead of “You brought me to …”).

In this case, the partners should give feedback to each other, and then proceed to resolve the conflict.

Come to a certain conclusion 

It is important after a relationship conflict to come to certain conclusions: to discuss the reasoning, feelings, and what needs to change in order to resolve it. One must also ask their partner for forgiveness, admit mistakes, and give feedback on the relationship conflicts (“I understand that you were upset that I …”; “I didn't think that you could take it that way, I meant something completely different ... “; “I'm sorry that my words hurt you. I said that because I was very annoyed ... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that”)

Ask for help 

One may find themselves in a critical situation with their partner, with no solution being found. At this point, it may be worth asking for help.

Online therapy on Calmerry is one of the most convenient ways to get professional help. Today, in order to contact a therapist or counselor, it is not necessary to leave home (which is actually a great way to get timely help and support at the very moment when needed most).

Of course, not all relationship conflicts end with reconciliation. Some of them lead to a final breakup. In various instances, this may also be a good result because the conflict reveals different values ​​and life principles of partners. Then, getting out of such an unhappy, ineffective, and sometimes frankly destructive relationship becomes the best solution.

DEALING WITH SPORTS INJURIES AND AILMENTS

There are a lot of ways you can hurt yourself exercising, ranging from a small blister to a surgery appointment. Read on to find out where the line is on each of them and how to handle your sports injury.

1. Concussion

The most common sports injury, to the point that there are movies about it, is a concussion. Concussions are caused by a blow to the head, either by a helmet, ball, rogue elbow, environment, etc. It is considered a traumatic brain injury and affects cognitive function. Repeated concussions can cause long-term problems such as memory loss and executive function.

You might not always experience a loss of consciousness if you have a concussion. Other symptoms include confusion, drowsiness, dizziness, double or blurred vision, headache, nausea, noise or light sensitivity and a slowed reaction to stimuli. Someone having a concussion may be irritable, have balance issues, unequal pupil size and even seizures.

A one-off concussion can be treated with painkillers like ibuprofen or acetaminophen and plenty of rest, but if you have bleeding or swelling in the brain, surgery may be required.

2. Sprains

A lot of the injuries in this guide can be caused by not properly stretching before a workout, as is the case with most sprains. Overstretching or tearing the ligaments of you calves, ankles, knees, can cause a lot of pain, but also swelling, bruising, tenderness, and the inability to put weight on the affected limb.

You can treat a sprained ankle at home by keeping it supported and rested. Consider wrapping it in elastic bandages, wearing a brace, or using crutches if needed. Elevating your ankle will reduce the swelling, as will applying ice. Apply ice three to four times a day for 20-30 minutes and take ibuprofen or acetaminophen to deal with the pain.

Severe ankle sprains might have to be surgically worked on in either an arthroscopy to look for loose fragments of bone or cartilage or a reconstruction surgery to stitch your ligaments back together.

Knee sprains are a little more complicated and require a doctor to look at it as soon as possible. If you heard a pop, that’s obviously not good. It can indicate your knee is forced out of its natural position. A doctor may recommend pain killers like acetaminophen or prescribe something stronger. Rest, ice, and compression as with the ankle will all help at home, but there are also exercises you can do to strengthen your knee. Try some leg lifts, thigh strengthening exercises, raising up on your toes and thigh and calf stretches as well as weight training with hamstring curl and leg press equipment.

3. Shin splints

Also known as Medial Tibial Stress Syndrome, shin splints are a pain in the front of your lower leg caused by excessive force on the shin bone and tissue around it. You will feel inflammation from the muscles around the bone swelling and possibly dull ache in your shin or the sides of it, pain that increases during exercise, swelling in the leg, or numbness in the feet.

Shin splints can be dealt with at home with two weeks rest, compression, ice, and painkillers, but see a doctor if you shin feels hot or is visibly swollen or painful even while resting. You can use foam rollers to massage the shins and avoid further injuries by wearing more supportive shoes and warming up well before a workout.

4. Dehydration

If you feel headaches or muscle cramps while you work out, you could be suffering from dehydration. You body may not be receiving enough water to replace what you’re sweating out, leading to dizziness, and in severe cases heat stroke and heat exhaustion.

Dehydration can also leave you feeling tired, which is just counterproductive while exercising. Keep a bottle on you and stay hydrated by drinking every 15 minutes, even if you’re not thirsty to avoid things like cramps and lightheadedness.

Have a look at this article on dehydration for more information on how to keep hydrated while you’re working out.

5. Rotator cuff injury

One of the four muscles and tendons keeping your shoulder in good shape, rotator cuffs are injured by strains, tendinitis, and bursitis. It is most common in tennis and basketball players.

Overuse of the rotator cuff causes it to become inflamed, leading to tendinitis. Bursitis is inflammation of the fluid-filled sacs between the rotator cuff and the underlying bone: the bursa. Strains and tears overstretch and partially or completely tear the tendons around your rotator cuff.

Common symptoms include difficulty moving the shoulder, difficulty sleeping on the shoulder, weakness in the shoulder or pain when reaching.

You can treat a rotator cuff injury with hot or cold packs to reduce the swelling, resting the arm in a sling, taking an Epsom salt bath, massage, and painkillers. Your doctor may also recommend an injection of cortisone to reduce inflammation and you can exercise the shoulder at home with stretches.

6. Muscle stiffness

If you feel tight and stiff after a workout, it will go away with rest, but there are things you can do to move that timeline along.

You can take an anti-inflammatory medication like ibuprofen to lessen pain and discomfort and massage or stretch the affected limbs to help loosen them. You can also apply a hot or cold compress. Use hot packs for muscle tightness and cold for inflammation or swelling. There are also options like taking an Epsom salt bath or drinking or applying apple cider vinegar to the affected area. Massage chamomile essential oil onto your muscles to relieve spasms or by eating blueberries filled with antioxidants or add some cayenne pepper to your food.

Prevent post-run pain with the antioxidant and anti-inflammatory-filled cherry juice and make sure to get plenty of Vitamin D.

Call a doctor if your muscle stiffness doesn’t go away or you have symptoms like fever (especially if your neck is stiff), extreme muscle weakness, redness, pain and swelling and pain that develops after taking a new medication.

IN OUR BAG | WHEN HANGING WITH FRIENDS

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TIPS FOR LIVING A MORE CAREFREE LIFE

Do your friends often accuse you of overthinking things? Do you wish you could just let go and enjoy yourself more? Do you see other people who don't seem bothered by the things that nag at you? You can lead a more carefree life even if you can't imagine how you'll get there from where you are now, and the tips below can get you started.

Do Frivolous Things

If the above description fits you, chances are, you have a hard time doing things just because. You tend to want things to have more than one purpose. You're probably always thinking about how you can multitask or if a particular activity can be enriching. To combat this, force yourself to do some things just because they are fun or they feel good. Give yourself an hour or two to read a book or binge your favorite TV show. Go for a walk, or take a warm bath.

If you're still struggling to truly indulge, try an intermediate step. Get yourself something that is mostly indulgent. You can add castor oil to your beauty routine. Pick some up to enhance the hair on your head as well as your lashes and eyebrows. It can even be good for skin and lips mixed with essential oils. This allows you to do something to improve your appearance while also nourishing your body naturally. Now go for the full indulgence, whether it's buying an impractical article of clothing that you love, spending the afternoon reading in your hammock just because or engaging in some other activity for the sheer enjoyment of it.

Let Other People Go

If you're not very carefree, there's a chance that you're not very good at letting others be carefree either. In fact, you might have a hard time letting your loved ones be exactly who they are, up to and including allowing them to making mistakes. Even though you have the best of intentions, you need to step back. When you feel an urge to give your opinion or tell someone they are making a mistake, rather than blurting it out, just sit with that feeling for a little while. This person isn't doing what you think they should, and the sky isn't falling. A pleasant side effect of this is that as you train yourself to realize that you don't have to take care of other people all the time, you relax a lot more.

Be Spontaneous

Most likely, this goes against your nature. You're a planner, perhaps even a worrier. You'll probably never be an impulsive person, but it won't hurt to inject a little spontaneity into your life. Where you do that is up to you. Don't make yourself miserable, but try pushing a little past your comfort zone. Avoid making a detailed to-do list for the day. Resolve to say yes to any invitations you get. Make a purchase without endlessly researching to make sure that you're optimizing for the very best product. Strike up a conversation with a stranger. When you're deciding whether to do something, give yourself a time limit of just a minute or two before landing on a decision so that you don't get stuck in analysis paralysis.

ROCK THIS TO TRANSITION INTO YOUR FALL STYLE

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THE PICK ME UP

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9LOOKS | SETA

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#TRIBEGOALS

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ALOE BEAUTY

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THE BEST VENUES AROUND THE COUNTRY TO CELEBRATE THE MELBOURNE CUP

There’s no doubt that the best seats to watch the Melbourne Cup from are at Flemington, but if you’re not one of the lucky 100,000 or so who gets to attend this year, there are plenty of other high-quality places to enjoy the race around the country. These are some of the best of them.

1. The Grace Darling Hotel, Melbourne

The Grace Darling Hotel in Collingwood has everything you need for a great Melbourne Cup Day. First and foremost, they have a huge screen on which the big race itself is shown, as well as the rest of the racing throughout the course of the first Tuesday in November. They also run a Melbourne Cup sweep for those wishing to get involved in the action, as well as a barbecue to fulfil all of your culinary needs. Add to that the fact they have a DJ throughout the day and that you can stay there long after the horses have gone home, and this is a great place to spend the entirety of Melbourne Cup Day (and night).

2. Redfern Turf Club, Sydney

The Redfern Turf Club in Sydney might not have all the glamorous bells and whistles that many associate with Melbourne Cup Day, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a great place to spend the afternoon. They offer an array of quality, relatively inexpensive food, and great deals on booze also attract plenty of punters. The races are shown all day long on a big screen, and with customers making the most of all the quality food and drinks on offer, the atmosphere here is electric on Cup Day.

3. Mayfair Hotel, Adelaide

There are venues which show the Melbourne Cup, and there are others which truly celebrate it. The Mayfair Hotel falls into the latter of those two categories. Attendees can pay for a package on their rooftop bar and get to enjoy a host of premium beverages, hours’ worth of canapes being shared around the room, and have in the past even had a seafood station. They get people more involved in the racing festivities by organising a Melbourne Cup sweep, and once the food and drinks included in the package have been eaten and drunk, the public is welcomed to the rooftop to add even further to the atmosphere.

4. Doomben Racecourse, Brisbane

It might not quite be as good as the real thing, but if you desperately want to feel like you’re part of the action then Doomben Racecourse might be just the place for you. They pull out all the stops in an attempt to make a trip to Doomben every bit as good as a trip to Flemington, with pop-up bars and restaurants a major attraction, and plenty of screens on which to watch the big race. They also host their own Fashions on the Field, so punters can get as dressed up as they would at Flemington for the big day.

Heading to Flemington to watch the action live is one of the best ways to celebrate Australia’s biggest horse race, but there are plenty of other Melbourne Cup venues around the country that do their best to match it. Whether you’re celebrating the public holiday in Melbourne or find yourself elsewhere around the country, you’re sure to find plenty of places screening the race, and the above four are some of the best of them.

HOW TO DRESS | LABOR DAY WEEKEND STYLE

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ATHLEISURE MAG | #68 AUG 2021

In this month’s issue, our cover shoot is with skateboarder and Team USA Skateboarding Gold medalist Cory Juneau. We talk about how he came to the sport, how he approaches it, the importance of his friend group, being in the inaugural debut of his sports at the Summer Games in Tokyo and his partnership with Golden Goose. We talk with country singer/songwriter, Tyler Rich who is back on the road with 2 tours! He talks about he stayed connected to fans during quarantine, how he approaches his music and upcoming projects. We also connect with EDM DJ/producer, Will Sparks that talks about his music, the Melbourne Bounce and his EP. We also caught up with long distance runner, marathoner, Olympic medalist, NY and Boston Marathon winner, motivational speaker and NY Best Selling Author, Meb Kefllezighi to talk about about how he came to running, how he approaches training and the importance of never giving up.

This month, singer/songwriter, Adam Levine shares his favorite songs in 9PLAYLIST. Previous cover star, Jamie Gray Hyder of NBC’s Law & Order: SVU shares her favorites and why in our 9LIST STORI3S. We also have pro skateboarder and Team USA Skateboarder Zion Wright, who shares his 9LIST STORI3S. One of our fave WWE and E! Total Divas and previous cover, Trinity Fatu who wrestles under the name, Naomi, shares her 9DRIP with us. Celebrity fitness trainer, Don Brooks shares his favorites and why in our 9LIST ROUTIN3S. In addition, designer/artist, Jade Purple Brown shares her 9LIST ROUTIN3S that she enjoys in the morning, afternoon and night. This month’s 9LOOKS shares our favorite looks from designer and Making the Cut Season 2’s contestant, Andrea Salazarz and her line, SETA which has a collab with Amazon.

Our monthly feature, The Art of the Snack focuses on J-Spec in Manhattan. This month’s Athleisure List comes from Kolache Brooklyn and Spa Relais. As always, we have our monthly roundups of some of our favorite finds.

Read the AUG ISSUE #68 of Athleisure Mag.

FESTIVAL SEASON 2021 | ELECTRIC ZOO SUPERNATURALS

We always love when we head back to the grounds of a festival! It’s the music, hanging out in the media tents, catching the vibes and more. Although last year, Electric Zoo didn’t have an in-person festival, we’re excited about this year’s! Electric Zoo will take place from Sep 3rd - 5th with a number of our favorite acts (a number of them have been covers or inclusions in Athleisure Mag - Steve Aoki, Valentino Khan, Kaskade, RIOT TEN)! We look forward to a great 3 days!

HOW ATHLEISURE ADVANCES 'YOU SHOP, BRANDS DONATE' CAMPAIGN

The athleisure trend is now more popular than ever as more men and women are learning that there’s no need to compromise between style and comfort. These functional and fashionable clothes provide ease of movement as people tackle various responsibilities at home. Athleisure companies have continued to see a steady rise in the demand for their products, and it’s impressive that they’re also participating in confronting important social causes today.   

Athleisure Amid COVID-19 

The stay-at-home measures initially implemented to keep people safe from the COVID-19 virus have contributed to the rise in popularity of athleisure clothes. When people started working from their homes, office workers made a complete 180-degree turn and switched their office attires to activewear-inspired clothing.

Athleisure is suddenly becoming the unofficial work-from-home uniform. With this style of clothing, workers who spend their days in video conferences can easily transition to nights of movie binging. So, in many ways, this particular style and trend can help people take good care of themselves and look after both their physical and mental health this year.  

More Than Just Brands 

As mentioned, certain athleisurewear brands also support different charitable organizations as a way of giving back. Instead of becoming overwhelmed by the global challenges in the economy, athleisure brands actively took part in the you shop, brands donate campaign that aims to extend compassion, kindness, and generosity with the help of customers. For every item sold, these companies will donate a fraction of their profits to the charities they partnered with or the ones you directly choose to help. 

Moreover, athleisure companies aren’t just doing this because of the rise in their profitability. Many of them already chose to give back even before the pandemic began. However, there has been an undeniable rise in companies supporting charitable organizations.  

As these brands continue to experience steady business, the industry’s value is expected to reach USD$257 billion in 2026, according to the data from Allied Market Research. This isn’t surprising since athleisurewear purchases in the states alone reached an estimated value of USD$81 billion in 2021.  

Deserving Charities 

Here are a few of the charities receiving aid from the athleisure companies:  

1. Children With Cancer 

A brand made it a mission to donate to American children who have cancer by selling beanies. The sales of over 130,000 beanies benefited pediatric cancer patients. Non-profit organizations have also received half of the profits to support pediatric oncology research and other related works. Part of the proceeds also went to fund the immediate needs of the families of the children battling the disease.   

2. Strays and Wildlife 

Humans aren’t the only recipients of the kindness of athleisure brands. For instance, the owners of a certain brand, who also happen to be dog lovers, launched a mini collection featuring their two dogs. Ten percent of the proceeds from the matching top and legging set will go to charities that rehome strays. Some companies are also funding the wildlife rescue in Guatemala. A fraction of their revenue aids in the rehabilitation and release of animals to the wild.  

3. Mothers 

A few athleisure brands launched a maternity collection that allows expectant mothers to be active during their pregnancy. One of these companies is partnering with an organization to provide aid to impoverished expectant mothers. For every product purchase, funds are set aside for local and international recipients such as the Downtown Women’s Center, California Wildfire victims, Midwives for Haiti, and prenatal care.  

4. Clean Water For Poor Families 

Access to clean drinkable water may be a fundamental human right, but some of the world’s most impoverished neighborhoods see it as a luxury. Many people continue to suffer from the effects of water scarcity. Fortunately, some of your favorite activewear brands donate at least 5% of their net profits to multiple charitable causes.

5. Factory Workers

Factory workers in many developing countries often have to make the most of unfavorable working conditions. For this reason, certain athleisure brands made it their goal to work with a non-profit organization, ShareHope, to provide monetary aid for social programs in these developing countries. At the same time, factory workers are offered the opportunity to finish high school education and receive training in health, waste management, and proper sanitation practices.  

In Conclusion 

Contrary to what many believe, not all companies only care about profits. Some, including many athleisure brands, still acknowledge their social responsibility and donate to worthy causes as a way of add meaning to their businesses. They also offer an opportunity for customers to help out way simply by purchasing their products.  

FESTICAL SEASON 2021 | PINKNIC

Sept 4th and 5th brings Pinknic to Governors Island! We’re excited that our NOV ISSUE cover in 2020 was SOFI TUKKER and that they will be rocking out here! If you have yet to get your tickets, you should definitely make sure that you do as this music festival is the perfect blend to mix music, rose and more together!

9DRIP | POOCH HALL

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9DRIP | JORDAN ANDINO

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9LIST ROUTIN3S | NYESHA ARRINGTON

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9LIST ROUTIN3S | HARLEY PASTERNAK

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9LIST STORI3S | SOFIA KENIN

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