5 REASONS WHY MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE SAYING ‘NO WAY’ TO VALENTINE'S DAY

Dr Sanam Hafeez shares 5 reasons why more and more people are saying no way to Valentine's Day.

Whether you’re in a couple or rolling solo, Valentine’s Day comes with expectation and pressure. With #CoupleGoals as a consistently trending hashtag, countless pictures of couples on social media, the obsession of celebrity break ups and make ups and TV shows like the Bachelor and Bachelorette serving up contrived romance sprinkled with drama, the way we think of love and romance has changed. Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a New York Board Certified Neuropsychologist explains why so many people say ‘no way’ to Valentine’s Day and offers some alternatives that shift this negative mindset.

1. “Valentine’s Day is a ‘Hallmark Holiday’ and I’m still broke from Christmas.”

When money is tight many people may want to cut back on spending especially for things they feel are frivolous. “Financial stress is a common thing and when people are made to feel pressured to spend, they get resentful and want to claim their power,” explains Dr. Hafeez. Instead of boycotting all romance, put a $20 maximum on gifts and you’ll see how sweet, thoughtful and creative you can get.

2. “Every restaurant is crowded and the service is terrible.”

Nothing kills romance faster than crowds and a bad experience dining out. Since everyone goes out to eat on Valentine’s Day there will be a lapse in service. “One way for couples to celebrate is to call their favorite restaurant in advance and have a meal prepared they can pick up and heat up at home,” suggests Dr. Hafeez. “You can either break out the fancy dishes and dress up or you can put on sweats and eat while watching a movie, the important thing is that you enjoy yourselves and aren’t stressed,” she adds.

3. “We’ve been together for ages. Every day is Valentine’s Day! Do we really need to celebrate?”

“Celebrations and traditions are important in a relationship and when they fall away it’s usually a sign of trouble and disconnection. While you may not feel the need to do anything extravagant use the day to appreciate the love you have and life you’ve created, even if it’s in a small way,” Hafeez advises.

4. “I’m single so what’s the point?”

Rolling solo on Valentine’s Day again, all the more reason to turn it into a Self Love Day. Being single on Valentine’s Day can be tough for people, especially those still healing from a break up or divorce. “You want to really be kind and caring to yourself. Booking a massage, getting a haircut, or arranging a single ladies night with your single friends could be just what’s needed. Focus on creating your own happiness,” says Dr. Hafeez who often sees a link between break up depression and anxiety over holidays.

5. “I’m just to busy for love and romance and all that stuff.”

Some people are just focused on other things that are top priority in their lives. There are plenty of women who are turned on more by generating income for their businesses than concerning themselves with outside approval or validation. There has been a rise in female entrepreneurship with more millenials and Gen X’ers preferring to build empires than romantic relationships. For them it’s just February 14th the midway point to a short month. “There’s nothing wrong with women wanting to focus on their professional lives. They often feel to focus on business, romance, which may cause them to lose focus, has to be shelved for a while, this is more common these days,” Dr. Hafeez shares.

While many say ‘no way’ to Valentine’s Day there are millions saying I DO.

According to a 2017 survey of 1000 people done by James Allen, an online diamond and bridal jewelry retailer, 43 percent of millennials say Valentines Day is their top pick for proposal day. November – February is considered proposal season.

Some other mind-blowing stats that clearly show Cupid isn’t going away anytime soon are.

In 2017, the National Retail Federation put the estimated total spending at over $18.2 billion. That's an average of $136.57 per person.

Jewelry is the most popular gift with 20 percent of consumers expected to buy jewelry, with a total of $4.3 billion on bling, the NRF said.

$2 billion will be spent on flowers, with roses being most popular. 250 million roses are produced for the holiday, the Society of American Florists said.

The American Greeting Card Association puts that industries pay out at 1 BILLION… yes folks $1 … for paper.

TRAVEL CHALLENGE | HIS X HER

One of the tipping points between couples involves their travel compatibility! It's when you find out whether you can be outside of your normal surroundings and how you handle it. In addition, it's an eye opener on how you handle navigating in new cities, how stress levels affect you and of course how much one packs! We talked with the team at DUFL to find out how they are a solution to your travel needs as well as tips that you should keep in mind when it comes to your next destination!

ATHLEISURE MAG: What is your background and how did it lead you to create DUFL? 

ANDREA GRAZIANI: I’ve spent the majority of my career in internet technology and software. Because of this, we spent a lot of time on the road traveling for business. On one particular trip, I’d packed for 14 days in London in a carry-on bag because my business partners all traveled with carry-on bags and there was no time to wait at baggage claim. We were heading back to Arizona on a Friday and had to spend the weekend unpacking, doing laundry, dropping off same-day dry cleaning and then packing everything in that carry-on again in order to be in New York on Monday. Our CEO and Founder, Bill Rinehart looked at us and said ‘there has to be a better way.’ And the notion for DUFL was born.
 
AM: What is DUFL and how does it make traveling easier?

AG: DUFL is a travel service that inventories, photographs, cleans and stores your business wardrobe in a DUFL virtual closet. When you are ready to travel, just open the DUFL app, enter their destination, arrival date and tap on the photos of the items in your DUFL closet that you’d like to pack and a professionally packed suitcase will meet you at your hotel. When you’re all done, request a pick up in the DUFL app, attach the provided shipping label to your suitcase and drop it at the hotel front desk.

We’ll ship it back to the DUFL warehouse where we’ll clean, inventory and store your items until you are ready to travel again.
 
DUFL eliminates the need to pack, do laundry, unpack and drag a bag through the airport or to client meetings or events. Packing takes about 60 seconds in the app and eliminates stress and gives our users approximately 3-5 hours of personal time previously spent on those meaningless tasks.

AM: Why is the notion of traveling as a couple such a big deal whether you're embarking on your first trip or the umpteenth one?

AG: I think there’s a different dynamic with couples, and a lot of communication around events, clothing requirements, who’s bringing the hair dryer to who’s bringing the shampoo. I tend to over pack when I’m traveling with my husband because we both have different ideas of things we’d like to do when we are on a trip.
 
AM: What packing tips can you share with us that are worth noting when traveling with your significant other?

AG: Try to have a bit of a plan - if not with pre-planned itineraries, then at least coordinate who will bring what so you don’t double up on toiletries, etc. For shorter trips, it’s sometimes possible to consolidate the packing into one large suitcase for the both of you. If you don’t want to check a bag, take advantage of the allowable two bags per person on the plane and consolidate your electronics and snacks into one bag to allow more room for clothes and shoes!

AM: When traveling to warmer climates, one would think that the packing is easier but what should we consider when bringing items with us?

AG: I personally hate to check a bag so knowing that I need to take items like sunscreen and bug spray creates a problem for me. Either take a few travel size bottles of each or purchase those items when I arrive at my destination. I’d also recommend taking light layers, a few swim suits if there’s a beach and ziploc bags for your wet and sandy items returning with you. I’d also recommend bringing anti-frizz hair products, moisturizers, and perhaps some oil blotting wipes to keep your skin regulated.
 
AM: What should we do upon returning from a trip to make it easier?

AG: I’d like to say unpack right away but that would make me a hypocrite as I may hold the world record for taking the longest amount of time to unpack :). Prior to using DUFL, I would try to do my laundry before returning home to make re-entry a bit easier.
 
AM: Tell us more about Battle of the Sexes: Vacation Travelling (i.e. women traditionally over pack and men tend to oversimplify. Do you see a difference in gender when it comes to packing?)

AG: I must say, I have been surprised to see that there are plenty of men who ‘over pack’ just like the stereotypical woman does! While women do tend to store more items in their closets, we think that because DUFL allows folks to take as much as they want with them (no sacrificing items to fit in a carry-on bag or stay under weight limit at the airport), our customers tend to take as much as they want. They bring business clothes, 70% of our users take workout clothes with them on their trips and sometimes things like pillows, blankets and robes make the trip as well.

AM: What are 5 essentials that everyone should have when traveling?

AG: Your own shampoo and conditioner, a good book, headphones, workout clothes, comfortable/sensible shoes, and bug repellent- especially to tropical areas
 
AM: What are 5 items that we should not bring when traveling?

AG: Too much jewelry. Stick with a few classic pieces so they don’t get lost/stolen during your travels and take up too much space, too many clothes- make sure to pack items that you can wear again, impractical shoes, expensive items and kids :)

Read more from the April issue and Travel Challenge His X Her in mag

SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW: HONEYMOON TRAVEL TIPS

When planning a honeymoon, there are a lot of options to choose from. We talked with Lonely Planet's book editor, Jessica Cole on their new guidebook, The Honeymoon Handbook, which shares an array of tips and destinations. 

ATHLEISURE MAG: Tell us about Lonely Planet.

JESSICA COLE: Lonely Planet is the world's leading travel guide publisher. Along with guidebooks and ebooks to almost every destination on the planet, we also produce a range of gift and reference titles, an award-winning website and magazine and a range of digital travel products and apps. All of them are designed to help travelers discover the world. They'll find destination overviews, independently and trusted reviews on restaurants, accommodation, sights and activities, and practical information. 

AM: What is the thought process behind The Honeymoon Handbook?

JC: Getting married is the most socially accepted excuse in the world to throw off the bowlines and plan your ultimate dream trip. But planning such a big trip is a huge undertaking. We know that  not all honeymooners want to lie on a beach for a fortnight: more couples than ever before are looking for adventure and activities on their honeymoons. So we made a book full of inspiration, ideas, destination guides and advice for how to plan the trip of a lifetime to set marriage off to a magical start.

AM: The Honeymoon Handbook tackles familymoons, minimoons etc - what trends are emerging in the category?

JC: Unique is the new normal: honeymooners no longer want to settle for a one-size-fits-all package vacation. They want the perfect trip that suits them, which means familymoons and minimoons are becoming more and more popular, along with other unique and custom itineraries. Couples are seeking more experiential activities and adventure for their special trip.

AM: How did you select the destinations that you included in the book?

JC: We wanted to incorporate trips that worked for everyone, no matter what you love and when you want to go. So our destinations cover everything from city fun in frenetic Tokyo to Caribbean island-hopping and tapas-sampling in Andalucia. 

AM: Did you conduct surveys from couples who planned their honeymoon?

JC: We know plenty of those, either embarking or just back from their honeymoon trips, and with this anecdotal research we formed ideas about what matters to honeymooners now, which places are becoming more popular, and what activities couples are looking for. We pinpointed trends for romantic getaways to feature the most up-to-date, relevant and practical advice possible.

PHOTO CREDIT Justin Foulkes/Lonely Planet

AM: Did your team travel to the destinations while researching for this book? 

JC: Lonely Planet has hundreds of writers out on the road for us, many of whom contributed to The Honeymoon Handbook. These writers know the world incredibly well and are constantly roaming, researching and discovering new places and the latest trends so that we can deliver the best travel information to our readers. 

AM: What destinations in this book are your favorites?

JC: Having taken my own honeymoon only last October, I have a very soft spot for Tokyo and the Mount Fuji region! The food was beyond wonderful, and Japan is a beautiful and unique country. It was a culture we had never explored before, which is just what we wanted! Another firm favorite for a different sort of trip entirely is Sri Lanka - it has wonderful beaches, diverse national parks, out-of-this-world landscapes and the friendliest people I've ever met. 

AM: Do you anticipate making this book annually?

JC: The title will probably be a one-off, but with every reprint - which might happen once or several times a year - we update the information inside it, so readers can be promised accurate and up-to-the-minute information.

AM: What 3 tips do you feel are essential for couples to remember regardless of their honeymoon spot?  

JC: 1. Choose a destination that works for you both - and don't feel you have to cave to others' expectations of what a honeymoon 'should' be. Trust your instincts of what you two will love the best.

2. Mix up your activities - indulge in luxury treats, but don't overlook the budget options - you might find it's the more down-to-earth experiences that will help create memories that last a lifetime

3. Don't be shy! Tell people you're on your honeymoon. You might be surprised to discover how happy others are to make you feel special. 
 

Read more from the Jan Issue