At Athleisure Mag, we've always been about the integration of mind x body x soul . We headed to the Ritz Carlton here in NYC to talk with Kimberly Friedmutter about her new book Subconscious Power: Use Your Inner Mind to Create the Life You've Always Wanted as well as her work as a Celebrity Hypnotherapist, the purpose and power of the subconscious, and how we can optimize these tools through all aspects of our lives.
ATHLEISURE MAG: So those that are not familiar with hypnotism, can you tell us what it is and what it entails?
KIMBERLY FRIEDMUTTER: Hypnosis is really a state of relaxation and a deep state at times. I’ve literally had clients snoring and drooling and I have had others that have stared back at me, but they are relaxed. It’s just different levels – just to explain that. So when people say what is trance and is it putting me in positions and a place that I don’t want to do – like when people see it in terms of being used for entertainment or in the movies with a swinging watch – that’s not what it is.
It’s a natural state of being for example, when you first wake up and you have that floaty feeling, that’s trance. When you’re just getting ready to drift off to sleep and you’re not really conscious, but not really unconscious, that’s trance. It’s basically setting the conscious thought aside, so that you’re more suggestable and more open to other things. Now this is also why people abuse drugs, they like that feeling and when you can do that naturally, it’s wonderful and you don’t have to use substances to get there as it is this beautiful natural state that we possess. Think of it in terms of when you’re watching a film and you know that the actors are the actors, but you shed a tear anyway. You’re emotionally caught up in it, they have entranced you. Or it’s like when you’re at a concert and everyone is waving their hands in sync with their phones on flame and your favorite entertainer hits the high note and everyone is in this moment of a euphoric feeling. You’re so relaxed that you feel like you’re having this out of body experience.
AM: Wow, sometimes we have taken a yoga/meditation class and when you are coming back from the meditation part, you sometimes do feel a little floaty and outside of yourself.
KF: Right and you are in a trance in meditation. Now the difference between meditation and hypnosis is simply that meditation is the zoning in on thought or in on non-thought. For example, “think of the breath, don’t think thoughts.” Whereas, trance is let it all come and zone out. So the zoning out is likening it to day dreaming. When you daydream, you’re not monitoring day dreams. You’re just letting it flow and that flow is trance as opposed to meditation where you’re linearly guiding something through to happen or not happen.
AM: How did you begin working in this field and how did you educate yourself on it?
KF: I would like to say that education really formed this structure where I sit. But really it’s the clients who really gave me the breadth of knowledge – getting in there and really exploring. I had a radio talk show in LA on KLSX 97.1 FM and it was the only FM talk station at the time. It was considered the Howard Stern Station at the time as that is where he was projecting from at the time. This was simply continuing education for the radio show and previous to that, I had been hypnotized for a lot of times for stage fright.
KF: I know! I wanted to shrink in instead of shrink out! I didn’t want that to be an issue so I was a product of hypnosis and I thought, “wow is that all there really is too it?” In our society, we are taught “no pain, no gain”, “no guts, no glory” and it’s absolutely not the truth. So I thought, let’s see what happens and now you can’t shut me up – I’m all over the place! Clearly, I’m healed!
AM: So it had long term effects!
KF: Oh yeah, it can be the only thing you ever want to do if you want it to be. I happen to take direction well which is also why some people ask why I focus on high performing professionals and individuals that have really made a name for themselves in the world. The reason is exactly that – they will do it and they take direction well. They look for information from others and are not arguing their position or limitation which is very important.
AM: Is it hard for a Type A person to release their control to do that?
KF: No because Type A’s are Seekers, Searchers, Learners. Type A’s are out their for the game and out their to win it. They’re out there to succeed.
AM: Right a very – by any means necessary thought.
KF: Well when you say it that way, it comes off as it’s something that’s surgical and invasive and it’s not. It’s 100% organic, 100% natural and 100% sustainable. You are literally able to keep it private because it’s in your mind and you don’t have to telescope it out. The thing is we all have that search for inner peace and inner happiness and we all deeply know what that takes to get there. We have the answers – we really do. Hypnosis just gives you that little prod and permission that it’s ok to release those things and feel those things.
My husband was hypnotized for 20 minutes and he’s an architect – everything is very linear with him and it's all about facts.
Everything is very structured, planned and conscious this comes from your conscious. The subconscious is touchy feely and is all about your emotions. So he was hypnotized for 20 mins and he lost 60lbs. Now that’s that kind of character because he’s a Seeker, Searcher, Learner person that’s Type A and an architect.
My book is listed in the top 10 of what every lawyer should read. It’s the Top 25 books that America’s leading CEO’s are reading. So it does have this very interesting crossover with men in business. It’s a great gift for men and a great gift for boys coming up to learn – particularly the Get to Give chapter – I’m happy to point out. It’s not a gender specific book and there are very good principles in each chapter to read. I like to stress that because men really do get it and it does provide transformative changes in them too. Women like to corner intuition because we say, “women’s intuition” that we’re so smart and we use our gut, but the truth is that we all have that machinery and we all have that mechanism. It’s a beautiful thing and we do want to have our partner, your brother, our uncle to rise up to this. When we’re all going the same speed on the freeway, we can all do the same things and not be hampered by the one that doesn’t.
AM: So you were talking about how people can use this for weight loss –
KF: Yes and for sleep issues, anxiety and depression. Here’s the thing about hypnosis and trance is that it doesn’t have to be just for a problem. We’ve freed it and loosened it from it’s chains of being attached to a problem. It can also be out amplifying things that you do well to be better. So athletic performance for example. Performance such as something that I am doing with CNBC for entrepreneurs and CEOs which is also for performance-based things that you want to enhance or amplify.
AM: Hearing this now gives me an interesting perspective on what you do. Coming in, we were thinking of it from that 1800s parlor trick but learning that it’s a tool that can be used to optimize and oxygenate what you’re looking to enhance is really interesting.
KF: I love how you said that the 2 “O” words. This is what I say, if I brought in this fine piece of machinery and I sat it down in front of us and said here’s the plug, the machine and the manual – you’re going to take the book and to read how to use it. You have it and I’m not selling you the thing – you have it. You can’t get a surgery to get it, I can’t take it, you have what you have and you can’t get rid of it. So it’s about plugging in your mechanism and using your resources. The thing is, we’re all interested in ourselves and we all want an easy, happy life. How do we get there? So so simple. We have the mechanism and the ability to do it – it’s the use of it that we don’t know. All of our finest technology and software and beautiful things – nothing comes close to the mind. You take it with you, it’s packaged, it’s compact, it weighs 3lbs, it’s 4x4 and off you go. You don’t have to pack it – you won’t forget it. Science will say that you have it from the point on conception to the time you transition – some believe that it will just go on. That’s what I have the Soul/Spiritual section in here about Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson. You’ll see that I have terrific blurbs from Jennifer Hudson and Martha Stewart, Michael Beckwith (he actually married me to the architect because he was a pastor because I was an agape taker) – so I had a lot of Hollywood support for this. They get it and they’re so creative. They’re interesting and they have big lives and a lot of times, big problems and no different from the rest of us as we have the same issues, we’re just watching them because the focus is on the high performing individual.
So the whole thing is just so simple to use. Like finding lost items around the house – who wants that – in the home or in the office. Even in an email. I was trying to find it before I was talking with you and I said to my husband that I couldn’t find it and he was asking me if it was there and I said, “I can’t find it in this state.” He’s thinking that I couldn’t find it in my phone or in my device. I knew that in the state I was in I couldn’t find it and even a device will fritz out when you’re in that state with all that frantic energy – it doesn’t jive when you’re like that. You need to adjust yourself or to stop looking. I calmed myself down and then I was able to find it. I needed to find it in the state of the love of it and not the problem of it. It’s about the find of it and not the loss of it. The truth is, it’s not lost – it’s in there.
AM: Ooo that’s interesting that you say that. Our Co-Founder, when he gets in that frazzled state, nothing will turn on in terms of electronics. So we have to either move our technology out of the room –
KF: Or him.
AM: Or him and we just say, calm down to get everything settled again. The joke is that he’s like a Marvel character or superhero. So there must be some kind of kinetic thing going on there.
KF: Oh it’s energy. So here’s what happens. Anything that works on energy, works on energy. Anything that works on energy, fries out when it’s too much. We had an interesting and scary incident where a camera would have caught this and the camera did not catch it. It’s a wireless system and the camera caught our dog groomer that was going inside and outside of the house and you could see the dog as well, but it didn’t catch the event. I didn’t bring my phone and I didn’t worry about it because I knew the camera was catching the whole thing. What did I come to find out? It didn’t. So that gives great pause to energy. It’s about keeping it cool and it shows you that life won’t work with that kind of energy.
Again, to make your life easy like finding great parking spaces, when you meet with someone getting to know if they are good for you in the short/long term that you meet them – think of the time savings alone and what you have access to. We have a far-reaching ability to ascertain this information and impressions to get access to that even a blind person can do it.
The conscious mind thinks that way you are instructing it to do; however, the subconscious is doing the imagery and the big picture portion of what is going on. When we’re children, we’re very tapped into our subconscious and we also tend to sit within our primal state as well – sometimes kids bite other kids and they haven’t learned that they can’t do that. In the book, I talk about that as we get older, we learn and educate ourselves outside of the subconscious, so when we go to work and someone annoys us, we don’t bite our colleagues in the elevator.
AM: So what made you create this book?
KF: I was approached by a woman at Harper Collins. She asked if I would do this as she had seen me online and head learned about my practice. I said absolutely and in getting the group together and figuring out the structure of the book, it took me about a year to take my practice and to see what was digestible and what could be chewed on. By the time I handed in my proposal to her, she had left Harper Collins. The agent thought that it was interesting and agreed to put it on the market to see what it could do. Simon & Schuster wanted it and Atria Books was the publishing/imprinting house that did The Secret. The beauty about The Secret was that there was a feeling that yes we could emit this desire to get whatever it is that we desire. Part in part is where my gift comes from but the real question is where is this being emitted from? It’s coming from your mind and no one debates that. It’s very well studied and science is all over that and the subconscious mind and has been forever as you had mentioned with the hypnosis.
The reality is that if you're stuck and have an addiction to food, shopping or even an addiction to someone, there is an exercise in the book called the Saver/Sever where if you have this over attachment to a person, place or thing you can literally call it before you and you can detach from that thing so that you’re no longer this prisoner of that attachment. Some people when I ask them to see that Energetic Core, some people see this beautiful wisps of energy and some people see chains or rope – true bondage to that thing. Cyber Stalking is one of those things where you just can’t not do it sometimes. Those are the perfect candidates for those exercises. Those are some of the little hacks and one of the things that I’m very proud of with the book is that you don’t need a pen and paper and I wanted to make it super easy because we don’t have a lot of time and I call them Shelf Help books. Because you feel a lot better because you bought it and you’re like, “ok healed and you put it on the shelf.” But the reality is, I want you to have that manual for your machinery – you already have it, but this is just the how to guide on how to manage it. The reality is, we want to do things with our lives that makes things easier for us. Knowing and getting those impulses – you think of a friend and they give you a call. Or you get an email from that person or you give a call to someone and they say, “oh you were on my mind this morning.” All that is energy and that is the place that we’re talking about with this. Your consciousness is your task maker and your calendar keeper for the day. The subconscious is your inner child the part that you haven’t unlearned yet. The unlearning process is what makes us cranky, crass, disappointed, depressed and anxious. There is a chapter in the book called Tonkas and Tutus and it’s about putting that Tutu back on because that’s where it belongs and I do that as a gift of action. You realize that we are meant to be these beautiful, shining and magnificent creatures of light – you realize that you have that inner self that is clawing to get out and wants that light to be turned on.
AM: Do you envision doing another book?
KF: Yes we’re already working on it now. The first book that you drop, as I’m a first-time author – is your cornerstone. It’s the base information and from there, we fly – we fly.
AM: So what are the 6 principles that ignite the conscious mind and can you walk us through that?
KF: Sure. The first one is Coming into Accountability and that’s the first step, I think of everything that is meaningful. We need to know where we are – even on maps, it says location. So the first principle is really about your location and so I want you to be able to look at yourself holistically and for real – warts and all we say. The reality is that we can’t do the work until we know what it is. I don’t even like calling it work because it feels so effortless. The second principle is Tapping into Your Subconscious which is obvious and a lot of people don't understand how powerful it is and how much of it that you have. I'm here to tell you that you you’re right. When you think of Aunt Sue and she calls you – you have to see consciously that you are right to understand the power of your subconscious. The third principle is Do You Move Toward or Away? Now I like this one a lot because it is about orientation. You have coming into accountability, your tapping into your subconscious – where is your orientation? So going back to maps again, you would orient towards the direction that you want to go. You do not plug into maps that you want to go away from where you just were. So when it says, where are you heading to, you don’t say I’m headed away from Point A, you say, I am going to Point B so when you’re constantly l ooking at your life in retrospect, and you see that you have been flinging yourself away from circumstances, chances are you’re flinging into something of the unknown which is ok. But if you’re not happy where you are, that very well could be the reason why as opposed to focusing on where you want to go. Orientation of self is hugely important. The next one is, and this is sticky, and they throw their hands up - It’s Judge Thy Neighbor as Thyself. The point of this that we have let our judgement go by the wayside just like we don’t bite our girlfriend when she makes us mad. In this, I say that you must use ecology of judgment for yourself. Once you talk to someone who is unhappy, once you explore a bit of someone’s chronic unhappiness they will say that they used this mistake in judgement and that mistake. Look at Judge Judy. I talk a lot about her in the book. Not only is she magnificent, but the show itself garners so much attention, and why, because the show shows us did you use the best judgment for your ecology, your survival, your success, etc – that’s all she wants to show. Did you use good judgement and those judgements that she calls simply comes down to who used good judgement and who didn’t. Sometimes the thing that happened the person didn't have something unlawful, but they didn’t use good judgement and she fines them anyway. So she’s going to teach you out of your own issue. So judgement is super important and I show you how to do that and I show you how to judge energetically. When you meet someone are they good for me in the midterm, short term and long term? Also a judgement about privacy. Let’s be a bit particular about the who, what, when, where and why please. It’s helpful about that beautiful 8 year old person that’s inside of you. If you had a physical 8 year old next to you, would you look at the things that you look at, would you listen to the things that you listen to, hang out with the people that you would hang out with, go to the places that you go to – I think not. We really think that we’re big stuff, but we’re just that beautiful 8 year old creature inside and we need to use the ecology of judgement for him/her. The next one that people love is Give to Get. This is that energetic cycle, that loop. So if I hold both of your hands, you and I form a loop and energy is running through your body back to my body – if we let go and you stretch your arm out, it doesn’t have any place to go to generate or to recirculate. So if you give to me and I’m not giving back, then you’re not getting back anything and vice versa. Even the tomato plant does this. It grows, it falls off the vine and dies and it becomes fertilizer for the next new plant. Giving and getting is a universal law. Women are the worst at getting because they don’t want to say it and they just continue to give to such a point that it takes us into the next chapter which is Drought. When a women is in drought, I ask what kind of a giver/getter are you? Are you getting and giving? Sometimes the people who don’t get or the least to give – there has to be a flow of energy that flows in and flows out. I read something the other day that there was a popular phrase that said “cash is king” and now it's "cashflow is king" because anything that flows is king. Flow keeps us going. If I get, I distribute that to you, if you get then you distribute to me. It’s this movement that we’re in and once again, it’s this universal law that we’re in. I didn’t make it up, I just recognize it as a law of happiness.
When people ask, I am married to a very generous husband, an architect and what is great about that is that he understands flow. People ask, how did I get what I got and I say, I asked, I made it known. He’s not a psychic. The last principle is Play Big. You deserve to get and you deserve to give. The idea of playing big is not posturing and puffing it’s show up for me and show up for you. The reality is that we all need each other. We’re in a time of social collective consciousness which is fine, but then we must rise from it. In that it’s go for your dreams. Playing big honors that creative thing that you want to do regardless of whether you’re coming from a field like being an attorney and realizing that you want to become a writer. Just because you started out one way doesn’t mean that you have to stay that way and not become what you are meant to do. So show up for that thing that you’re meant to do and then get on with it. When you get to that chapter and that final principle – then you’re ready because the other clutter is gone.
AM: What is your day to day like?
KF: Well, I’m basically a home type body, but I travel a lot so I make it home wherever I go. The traveling is a lot of fun so I try to do zones. When I’m on the East Coast, I reach out and contact to as many people as I want to book or to group it all in. We do it in Europe as well. I like to be accessible and I don’t like to say no. I’d rather say yes and then figure out how to make it work out. The other side especially with Brad and his business is that we clump things together. So the minute that I have go time over here, then he will book his things and that's how we do it. He has offices all over the world. It makes it easy to do that. There’s a few emergencies here and there, but now with FaceTime and Google – I can literally do that all day long. When you have your clients, seeing things is great because you have all of those micromovements. I’m an expert at determining what is going on. I use the term diagnose loosely – not as a medical diagnosis. It’s easy for me to see the issues as it rises up off the page so prominently that that’s my super power – the ability to see what’s going on and to be able to get it at the cellular level. Many times, I am able to just think it to get there and I like getting the confirmation.
AM: I know you’re based in LA and in Las Vegas. Where can we find you grabbing a meal/drink, working out and shopping?
KF: In Las Vegas, it would probably be Cipriani (Wynn) or more likely home. Because home – I’m a homebody. Any philanthropic event we’d probably be at. So when people say, do you go out on the strip – yes for charity events and probably only for that. If we’re having dinner or things like that, it’s probably at home. We eat super clean and I cook a lot. It’s super simple to cook like that and I do pride myself that I went to chef school when I was modeling in Europe – a night school for that. I did that because I wasn’t the clubby type to go out to meet people. In LA, we like the Waldorf Astoria. We’re at The Ivy on Robertson all the time – we love it there. Malibu of course is great and we love Nobu, I used to live there before I met Brad.
When it comes to shopping, I love Norma Kamali here in NY I was just there and was so excited. So Norma walked in and we had our little visit and it was so great and now she’s holding the book. She has a new skincare line that’s out, it’s cleanser, scrub, tanner and moisturizer. Can I just say that the moisturizer is made out of olive oil and lime and not the fruit – the mineral kind. Never have I felt something so emollient so I’m going to order that for sure as I was running in. The smell, fragrance and feel was extraordinary. Shopping there is my favorite thing.
I work out a few hours a day. I do True Fusion which is a pilates/yoga hybrid. The gal who teaches it and does it with me – we have a neighborhood group of ladies that do it. I also do heavy weight training which is a surprise to most. I like it because it really does keep me feeling in survival mode. It’s a gentleman that does it who is a body builder type. I like to be a strong girl a strong female. When we work out like that – it makes everything like blow drying your hair and going to the potty a challenge – where your muscles touch anything. It’s a great feeling. In the morning my husband and I we both walk around a 3 mile loop with our 20lb weights on – we walk it fast – it can be a 3 hour thing. Mind/Body is important. My husband’s trajectory of his day changes when he does it in the morning. Connecting with nature is something that your body and mind needs. We start early in the morning because if we didn’t we wouldn’t get it in.
I have a lot of weight loss clients right now and it’s not because it’s summer it’s because we’re fat to the point that we are upset with ourselves. A client will say, I’m stressed – I eat, I travel – I eat, I have a child – I eat, I have a job – I eat, I’m out of money – I eat. So every reason comes down to, I eat, I eat, I eat and it’s not that. That’s all the more reason that we have to be ready, be the warrior, having to be fit. You have to say, I’m going after this with everything that I have and that mind/body connection is that. I’m a big believer that you can’t work off an unhealthy diet. You’ll hear me say that the kitchen is the gym. You can eat to a good body or eat to a bad body.
PHOTO CREDITS | Kimberly Friedmutter
You can hear Kimberly Friedmutter later this month on our show, BUNGALOW SK which is a part of Athleisure Studio, our multi-media podcast network! Make sure to subscribe to find out when the episode drops. You can hear it on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeart Radio, Google Podcasts and wherever you enjoy listening to your favorite podcast.